The Grayson Trilogy Read online

  Alex had come round every evening trying to talk, wanting to explain apparently, although it’d seemed quite self-explanatory to me. I couldn’t see him, I was too furious with him. Amy had tried to contact me too but I never wanted to see or hear from her again; I never even wanted to hear her name. What sort of woman did that to another woman? What sort of woman did that to her best friend? What sort of people could do this to someone who was at the lowest point in their life? He was meant to have been the one person above all others who should’ve been on my side, who was meant to protect me, and instead he’d chosen this betrayal. Deep down though, I’d known my behaviour was the cause of what had happened and I’d have to shoulder that burden. I’d pushed him away in my grief and he’d turned to someone else for solace and although I couldn’t begin to make sense of what they’d done I’d blamed her more than him – she could have said no, couldn’t she? She knew he was married, yet she chose to destroy us and I hated and despised her for it.

  I’d had to face Alex eventually, I’d known that, but felt I might not be able to control my anger at him. So several weeks had passed before that happened, and by then I had my façade in place. I’d been cold, detached and told him unemotionally that I didn’t care who he was shagging – they deserved each other. I’d heard the spite and bitterness in my controlled voice but managed to keep myself calm as I told him impassively I wanted a divorce. He took one look at me and didn’t bother trying to reason with me at all, knowing me well enough to know he would’ve been wasting his breath. He knew how I’d despised Sheila, my foster mother, who I’d seen as pathetically weak and feeble for taking Brian back when he’d been caught cheating on her, time and time again. There was no way I’d ever be treated like that. Alex had dealt with all the paperwork; I’d signed everything that was sent through without reading it, uncaring as to what happened to me.

  Unfortunately, I wasn’t as emotionally detached as I’d made him and everyone else believe. I was hurting badly, very badly. I’d lost everyone in my life, again, and this time I was without the support of foster parents. I’d hated the fact that people pitied me as the woman who couldn’t manage to keep her child alive, or her husband faithful and I’d been desperately lonely and isolated with no idea of how to go about recovering or even if I wanted to.

  The boys were back in the morning and after clearing the yard of weeds we spent the day painting the doors of the stables white and staining all the woodwork a dark brown. By the end of the day everything was looking smarter. Before they left we made a plan to sort out the paddocks the next day.

  Just as they were driving out of the gate, and I was heading back to the cottage, a smart four-wheel drive vehicle entered the yard and I realised it was Cavendish behind the wheel. He stopped, got out and after raising his hand in greeting went round to the other side of the car to open the door for his passenger. I was already walking back towards them and Susie ran ahead of me, softly growling. As I approached he called out.

  “Hi, Grayson, hope you’ve settled in all right? We’ve come back from a couple of days away and thought we’d call in, Grace was anxious to meet you.” He bent to stroke Susie and I looked now at his passenger who turned to greet me. She was everything I wasn’t: elegant, delicate and stunningly beautiful. Her long blond hair curled in waves down her back, tendrils delicately framing her face out of which she looked towards me with calm brown eyes that were lit up with the smile she shone at me. I liked her immediately, and she, too, bent to make a fuss of Susie.

  “Hello, Emma, I’m so pleased to meet you. I know you’re going to fit in here wonderfully.”

  Suddenly I felt conscious of how extremely dirty and awkward I was next to this vision of ethereal loveliness, although if she noticed she didn’t show it, and I managed to smile back, assuring her everything was going well so far.

  “At least this is my last day wearing these,” I explained, indicating towards my overalls.

  “Ah yes, we’ve heard all about those.” Cavendish smiled as he said this, and I wondered, from whom? “The plan is to get the horses here in a week or so. Do you think everything will be ready by then?”

  “Yes it will. We’re sorting out the paddocks tomorrow, then after the weekend we have some deliveries lined up. I’ll equip the yard and we’ll be good to go.”

  “Excellent, it’s all looking very smart already, so well done. We’ll leave you to your evening then and I’ll be back in touch towards the end of next week to liaise over dates for delivering the horses. Although I do have this for you.” He reached back into the car to retrieve an envelope which he handed to me. “This gives you some information on the horses coming and their current feed details so you’ll know what to buy.”

  “Okay, thanks, that’s helpful. I’ll order that in for next week, and look forward to hearing from you further then as well. It was lovely to meet you, Grace.” I smiled warmly at her as they got back into their car, watching them leave the yard before turning back towards the cottage, Susie at my heels.

  I knew it would only take a couple of hours the next day for the refurbishment of the yard to be finished. It had been a good week’s work and while I reluctantly had to admit it had been much quicker with the boys’ input I still couldn’t help but look forward to the time when they would no longer be needed.

  Chapter 6

  Friday evening I showered and dressed ready to go out. I pulled on a pair of my smarter black jeans which I teamed with a white fitted shirt and my black ankle boots that had a bit of a heel. A short while later when I saw the red pickup draw up at the back of the cottage I went out to meet it, saying goodbye to Susie and making sure the cat flap was locked on the way out. The boys shouted out greetings to which I responded, smiling back at them. Wade got out of the cab and jumped into the back, allowing me to sit in his place. Carlton was driving and he smiled across at me as I got in.

  “You look good, nice to see you without those hideous overalls on.”

  “Thanks,” I replied as we drove off.

  Leaving the estate we drove into Melton village, pulling up outside The Red Calf. As we went in I said the first round was on me for all their help but they refused, explaining that everyone from the estate who turned up put into a kitty so no one got stung with a huge round, which seemed reasonable and I was happy to go along with whatever system was in place. The main bar had several booths running down one wall with one noticeably larger circular booth at the back of the room, and it was to this one we headed. Carlton went up to the bar to get in the first round and when the drinks arrived and Carlton had slid along the bench to sit next to me I raised my glass, thanking them for all their help.

  We’d barely got settled when the door opened and West, Greene, Young and Burton walked in and I started sifting through my mind trying to remember first names. Walking over to join us, smiling and exchanging friendly greetings, they paid into the kitty then went to get their drinks before coming and sitting down. I noticed that Young made a point of sliding into the booth first to sit next to Hayes and suddenly had the unpleasant feeling that I was going to be sat there as some sort of horrible gooseberry because all the others were paired up – or trying to get paired up. Fortunately, as things settled down it became obvious this wasn’t the case and we all chatted amiably.

  Only four others came in from the estate that evening: Oliver Stanton, one of the gardeners, with Hannah Lawson, from the farm, who I learned were engaged to be married. Then later a couple of the other farmhands. I sat quietly, taking it all in and finding myself acknowledging halfway through the evening that this was in fact not too bad. I even felt quite relaxed which I found surprising, though realised, of course, that it was because no one here knew anything about me. I didn’t have to endure the sympathy and pity that had surrounded me in Crowbridge. This really was a new start and I found that refreshing. As the evening wore on, and I guess as the others got to know me better, I came in for a lot of light-hearted teasing, both about the overalls and my run-in
with Trent, which everyone appeared to have already heard about.

  The pub gradually filled up with locals chatting and laughing in groups, but I noticed one man drinking alone in the corner of the bar all evening who spent most of his time watching our table, which I found a little disconcerting, though no one else seemed bothered by it. Later I had to leave our booth to visit the ladies, which meant having to squeeze past Will, who enjoyed it rather too much, and when I came back I offered to get in the next round.

  I was standing at the bar waiting for the drinks when I realised the man I’d noticed earlier had moved round the bar and was now standing next to me – and far too close for comfort. He was taller than me, overweight, and I could see from the sheen on his face and his florid complexion he was uncomfortably hot, but despite this he wore a thick, shabby jumper over a checked shirt, the collar of which was worn. I shifted away a little and he noticed.

  “Don’t move away. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Gary – are you new to the estate? Could I buy you a drink?” He appeared to have already drunk quite a bit from the glaze in his eyes and was close enough for me to smell the beer on his breath as well as the stale smell of cigarette smoke he was infused with as he stood before me, holding a half-full pint glass in his hand.

  “I am, and no thank you. Excuse me please, I need to get these back to the others.” Picking up the tray of drinks, I carried it back to the booth.

  “I’ll be seeing you again,” he said to my back. Not if I see you first, I thought. Then I felt slightly guilty at brushing him off so abruptly. I realised I hadn’t given him a chance; perhaps he was a real charmer, I thought, though somehow I doubted it. First impression: he gave me the creeps. I put the tray on the table and sat back down. Will looked at me, a little concerned, asking if I was all right; I told him that I was.

  “I was about to come to your rescue but you got rid of him quite easily.”

  “He wasn’t that insistent, so no problem,” I answered, pausing for a moment before continuing, “But for the record, I don’t need you coming to my rescue, I can look after myself.” I smiled at him as I said this, softening my words and not wanting to hurt his feelings. Chloe leaned across then, telling me he was always trying it on with the girls, especially with anyone new, but other than being drunk and lecherous most of the time he appeared to be harmless. Good to know, I thought.

  The boys dropped me back at the cottage at about midnight, Carlton insisting on delivering me right round to my back door, and they waited until I was inside before driving off. Susie was delighted to see me and we had a cuddle before I headed off to bed.

  The next morning I’d left my alarm off so I could have a lie in. I’d decided to make the most of doing that while I could as I wasn’t going to get the chance once the horses arrived. I was planning on spending the day food shopping and stocking up on some clothes. So, when I got up and was ready I drove off the estate and towards the nearest town.

  I parked up, heading for the centre first to look for clothes. The range I owned was fairly limited, so I bought some lightweight cut-off trousers, shorts and assorted summery tops which I’d noticed were similar to those the girls had been wearing in the pub, and knowing nothing about fashion, ended up picking things that were not too hideous or uncomfortable-looking.

  I then went to the supermarket, filling my trolley with the items I had on my list, plus all the other bits and pieces I found I suddenly needed when my memory was jogged by seeing them on the shelves. I was perusing the wine selection when I became aware I was under scrutiny and looking up was met by the still gaze of Trent.

  “Hi,” he said, holding a half-full shopping basket in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other.

  “Hello,” I replied, feeling a little flustered and blushing as I recalled our last meeting.

  “The stables are looking good.”

  “Thanks, nearly all done now I think.”

  He nodded. “Did you enjoy yourself at the pub last night?”

  “Yes thanks, it was good to meet a few more people. Didn’t see you there though?”

  “No, I couldn’t make it last night; I’ll probably see you down there some other time. I hope the boys behaved themselves and got you home safely.”

  “They did, thanks,” I smiled.

  “I’d better get going,” he said, and as he did he held out the bottle of wine he was holding towards me. “Try this, I think you’ll like it.” After I took the bottle from him he turned and walked off. The whole conversation had been stilted and awkward which was perhaps not that surprising given our last interaction. I looked at the bottle in my hand: it was a Pinotage, a grape variety I was unfamiliar with, and my immediate reaction was to put it back on the shelf. I felt affronted that Trent appeared to be exerting control over my wine choices now as well as my work, but taking a moment, I made myself think more realistically – I was overreacting, he was only being friendly and I should give it a try. I wasn’t sure why I reacted to him as I did but as I drove home I thought that not only did I not like being told what to do, I also knew he didn’t want me there and both those facts were making me anxious and defensive.

  The next morning it was raining, so making the most of the opportunity I snuggled in bed for a little longer before eventually getting up. After breakfast I’d decided to do a little exploring round the estate, so dressing for the weather and calling Susie to me, I set off out of the yard.

  When previously driving round the estate, I’d noticed many paths leading off from the road into the woodland, so I took the first one of these I came across. The countryside here was soft and lusciously green. The woodland was open and in this part of the estate it was of a mixed deciduous type. There was a leafy canopy above us which let enough light through to the woodland floor to allow for the growth of other small trees, bushes and ground-covering foliage. Susie spent her time running between the trees, sniffing, exploring and generally rummaging around.

  It was incredibly peaceful walking through the woods, giving me plenty of time to think. Perhaps dwelling on the thoughts that filled my head was not good for me, thoughts that constantly turned to memories of Eva and Alex and inevitably to their loss, memories that gnawed at me so that if I wasn’t in a sombre mood already I’d be in one before too long. I’d have to work on that, I thought, try to think more positively. At least I’d not cut myself off from everyone as I’d initially thought I would, which was a surprise. I had instead started to make some friends, which seemed like a good place to begin. Maybe, I thought, I could get the balance right between the reclusiveness I sought and the socialisation it was probably more healthy for me to have.

  As I walked and took in the scenery around me I realised I couldn’t wait to be riding through these woods. With that thought in mind I decided I needed to visit the gym during the coming week to start getting in shape for that. I’d never really gained the weight I’d lost during the last few years so was still quite slim, probably too slim. I could do with building up and improving my muscle tone and flexibility, as well as increasing my stamina, particularly because of the hard physical work I had ahead of me so decided it would be my aim for the week ahead to go to the gym and set up a workout programme.

  We were out for a couple of hours and I thought we probably hadn’t covered even a tenth of the estate. When we got back to the cottage I made lunch and, having put off the gym visit in my mind until the following week, spent a lazy afternoon watching a couple of films. Trent called early evening to let me know there’d be deliveries of hay and straw coming the next day. Adam Porter, the farm manager, was going to call us to confirm the delivery time, and Trent would send over whoever was available to help unload. Before I had a chance to say anything, Trent surprised me by continuing firmly:

  “Don’t even think about objecting to the help offered, Grayson, there are three hundred bales to unload and you can’t do that on your own, however much you may want to.” Though a little taken aback at him being so direct I found this i
nteresting – he’d pre-empted me, and read me well. I had been about to object but he had a point: three hundred bales was a lot, and it had always been my least favourite job.

  “Much as I’d like to object to the offer of help, a trait of mine that you seem to have accepted, on this occasion it will be welcome, thanks.”

  “I haven’t accepted it, and I intend on challenging it whenever possible,” he responded shortly, sounding tired, I thought, and more than a little grumpy. “However, thank you for not arguing. I didn’t need any aggravation from you this evening. Goodnight, Grayson.”

  “Goodnight, Trent,” I replied. His formality made me smile a little, though as the call ended I frowned, thinking it was tiresome he felt the need to challenge me at all. I hoped he wasn’t doing it because he thought he needed to test me, because he considered that I wasn’t up to doing the job, and these thoughts left me feeling unsettled. I knew he was the estate manager but I wouldn’t be able to accept him exerting his power over me with any graciousness. I hadn’t accepted the authority of my foster father and the spirit I’d had then had made me fight back, made me stand up for myself. I wasn’t sure I had the strength to display the same resistance now. While I’d tried my best to heal myself I knew I was a shadow of the woman I’d once been and I’d hoped life was going to be easier here, not made up of more challenges.

  When I received the call from Porter I wandered out to the yard to open the gates for the delivery, being surprised when Carlton and Trent then drove into the yard. Susie was at my side, and as they climbed out of the pickup she growled, and although her tail wagged when Carlton greeted her, she made a wide circle around Trent, still growling before huffing a couple of times, showing her disgruntlement as she headed back to me. I quietly told her to hush, a little embarrassed by her behaviour.